AAUW: Chapter LXIV : The Dickensian Monologue

The sound of a mosque

in the backdrop

And a man

Getting out of a creaky bed.

Ah! Fuck !

Why did I wake up?

ask me how much I dread to wake up these days?

No, no its not about the mosque … no …

you know especially when the household goes quiet ?

you wake up alone not knowing what to do

after the initial morning rigmaroles

with sounds of people getting ready to go to office?

You are jobless and others are not

Susan and Harry had already left to work.

I woke up since I couldn’t control my shit.

In my head.

Why do you have to wake up ?

when you don’t have a fucking reason to ? wake up?  

But you wake up when you can’t control

your morning shit.  

In the head.

All along I hear a large number of other voices

trying to make themselves heard in the background

She was primary among them

That voice calling out a name ‘Sam’ ( with a longish ‘a’ )

followed by a question

‘you there’ ?

The sound keeps fading in

and fading out

there is also a voice

of a very young girl child

talking ( maybe over mobile phone ? )

in Hindi

repeatedly asking the question

‘ab kya hua?

Kya hum adventure pey nahi jaarey ?

this little girl child’s voice

too keeps fading in

and fading out

and merges with other noises

in the backdrop

most of the sounds are feminine

except one lone male voice

other than mine

I’m the protagonist

In this Dickensian monologue

all voices only call out

one name ‘Sam’

with different intonations

I sit on my potty

Wondering

Why did i wake up ?