Thesocratespot: The Art of Story telling - Part 6.0078_Annie's Take
Listen I was never on ! On all these kind of cavalier things! As Annie, I was that very shy, introverted kind.
But maybe somewhere deep inside me that very introverted behaviour was in some way an attribute of a rebel ! Source of some deep inferiority complex that kind of embedded its weight on to me, so strongly that for a long, long time I was afraid of my own voice & laugh ! In fact when we were in school my class mates treated me like I was some kind of a very fragile, very brittle, very weak and meek material.
But that was until my VII Standard.
Post my VII grade ( Indian IPSC Syllabus), i was slowly forced to participate in activities that was not really my forte, I was always happy being left alone, always happy doing my own own private thing, even that was not much at the of 14.
At home, I preferred helping out my mother with the house hold chores - washing clothes, cleaning vessels, sweeping & mopping etc.,
In school I was happy sitting in a position that was always away from a possible observation of my teachers, basically I was happy being treated as numb - very less communicado, very less socialodo too !
My free time was spent secretly admiring the more extroverted girls and the exhuberant boys, I could feel that there was a string feeling within me that said c'mon you too can be like them, you too can open up, exhale and be like them! Somehow the feeling kept lingering within me and I kept reconciling to myself that I did not have the physique or the looks or the ability to converse to mtch the girls I admired.
Then I went into my VIII grade.
Suddenly sex became prolific ! Incidents of low density sexual contacts kept happening inadvertently, unplanned and almost accidental and somehow it did not really matter, among some select peers that was like fun to know the boys and then tease the boys, watch them suffer when they became desperate - esp. when we could see their hardened bulge, that's when we learnt we could extract anything from them - of course, that was frought with its own risks there were times when it would go out of hand, one of the boys getting teased would go violent and abuse us, beat us etc.,
Sometimes under threat we used to help them jack off, and under more threatening conditions we used to cry and sob and make a reasonably big emotional scene when the boys demanded we give them that mouth job, we used to make faces so ugly that many a boy used to simply vanish feeling ashamed to have exposed himself fully but there a few other boys who would want us to respect their expoure.
As girls, the choice was always ours - we almost always made the boys exposing that big side of their sexuality as boys who were perverted, sick in the mind and many a times deserving to be openly condemned in front of other boys and girls! That was real fun ! Especially when we found that the boys soon got so confused between what's right sexual approach and the not so right !!
Wow ! We girls used to exploit that confusion so much !! Many a times it was hilarious !! Watching some 'he man' boys become almost 'she men' filled with shame and remorse! Wow ! That was fun !
But, that's exactly why we also used to encourage more than one boy to come close to us, just that when out of two one turns a rogue we could use that as an instance to provoke one boy against the other and if we found both turned out to be too friendly there was always a third who was ready to prove his chivalry!
Among the girls such teasing and holding them out until they lost control was crazy fun and was the source of all our bathroom gossip.
Annie came of age and became an extrovert at the age of 13 and by 14 it was a metamorphosis of the sort that changed the way she viewed life totally and so by the time she moved to her sophomore years, say when she was in her second year of under graduation she was way ahead in the game !
And yet had managed to find a terrific balance of staying relevant with the boys and yet also continue to excel in her academic pursuits - yes, Annie knew she had two sides to her personality.
Among the reasons why she soon moved to complete her Masters and then at a very young age was ready to be conferred a doctorate in Western Philosophy, World History, Alternative Literature and Linguistics.
