thesocratespot: May 2017

Sunday, May 28, 2017

thesocratespot: In memoriam : Eulogy dedicated to Chinnu : AAUW : Chapter: C : She

I loved her

She
the gentle
She
the fragile sparrow

She.

her eyes
her look
her walk
her gait
her warmth
her love
her dance
her smile
her sighs

together
a nuanced balancing act
a complex ballet

She
delicately expressing
little joy
little pain
little hope , little despair

She
was so young
so soft
yet so alive

Until those moments
when it was only
the stethoscope dangling
white coat men
with their syringe
and ECG's
with bent heads
tried making sense

her battle
became theirs

We

had no choice
wait with bated breath
folded hands
hope for the best
watching a different ballet
the graphic ballet on the
ECG

She

her survival , her pain
her smile , her dance
her dog

everday lived
was to be cheered
celebrated

She

here now
who knows ?
What next ?

She
as fragile as that petal
tender
shell of innocence

She
like that small , small
little ant ?

One blow of breath

Just one

She

was providence
a spark
like evidence
of life
fade in
fade out

She

with that feather touch
heart

She

Flew out of the park

today

Dedicated to Chinnu
alias Amulya Hari
1993-2017

Prologue

Welcome :) ! Gracias !

Thank you for taking your time and visiting my blog and ( hopefully ) also read the output !

This brief note is meant for those of you who want to know some details about the contents of this blog.

While initially 'The Socratespot' ( named after the legend and the great master whose brilliance , whose discourses and treatises continues to inspire me till date - the word 'Pot' in the end is just an intended pun ) .

This blog of mine was started more to just record some sundry, absurd personal ramblings ( I sometimes risk to call them poems but then refrain from insisting to identify them with such singularity ) .... but the Darwinian truth is that the blog has evolved... Changed into something more than just that a blog of ramblings - at least at a personal level.

Most of the latest input that I have been adding to the blog are part of a story , a book in the making (I hope) that I've been working on for some years now. I've tentatively decided to title the proposed book as 'Annie and The Underworld'.

The proposed book, in its essence, is really an attempt to study certain psychological traits of humans that we often find lurking somewhere deep inside us , these are traits that are complex and grey , personality traits that hold a high level intrigue to me in person - traits like rage, violence (against your loved ones ), alcoholism or the ability of even highly evolved intellectuals to be abusive in a relationship or the trait where you end up doing a series of certain things, certain actions or use certain words that soon spirals you into suddenly taking on a role of a person who's a 'stranger' to your own self, your own idea of your own self.

Many of the behavioral elements border on the deviant but yet they can be found in every 'normal' human , every other man or woman and to me i seems these traits have a very mysterious etymology.

I think we are essentially a product of our past , the present eventually can only be understood in context with our past, and I believe that our past probably has more power on our personality than we generally believe in fact I'll go to the extent of saying we're imprisoned by our past, we're trapped by it but we never accept it or think about it with that kind of a 'perception' but once we wake up to this 'reality' you suddenly start looking at yourself and your 'state of mind' with more inquisitiveness - la Sherlock Holmes investigating one's own psyche - suddenly almost everything you do takes on a new meaning and ushers in a new etymology of thoughts.

But searching one's past isn't the easiest of things to do , some areas of our past are so deeply buried on layers and layers of life that its often impossible to peep beyond a certain depth, but there are times when we come across situations that very clearly are totally irrational on the surface , even many of our day to day actions , many of what we do as to why we do what we do? things that we do ? do we have traits lurking underneath ourselves that have a habit of coming out in an uncanny way and then shock us ? (call it the 'foreigner, the outsider' inside each one of us ) - that's a part of the study too within the book , Annie and the Underworld.

The attempt has been to study a few such psychological issues through a story that outlines the life of three young protagonists Viz., Daniel Jesudasan ( Danny ), Annie Ezekiel ( Annie ) and Juan Dias De Salgados ( Rossi ) - 3 very accomplished, highly qualified, immensely well equipped to succeed across the material world - they are what you will call 'able' people - caught in the cross current of their own past that pushes them and takes them through a journey of immense intellectual pain - pushing their mind back and forth - sometimes making them journey through the deepest , darkest limits of the human mind.

The story tries to probe the realms of their past and its connections to some of their eventual personality traits - intellectual, philosophical, idiosyncrasies - their ability to live on the very edge , their free will and fierce independence that binds their relationship and yet tears their life apart with equal intensity - making them fragile, weak, vindictive, violent, abusive - esp., when they deliberately step out of their comfort zone and then let themselves go out of control .

Indulging in actions that drives each of them kiss goodbye to sanity - some of those actions take them to the brink , highlighted by their complete desertion of civility and conformity as they move on with their life.

The book at the same time also hopes to attempt and bring some sense of contemporaneity to the world of Philosophy, art and literature and also tries to build a commentary on certain socio-cultural - political and historical aspects of an era between the late 19th century - circa 1880) and moves up to around 2007-2008 ( at least that's the plan) .

By bringing in people and characters who act as representatives of that era and also of a particular mindset.

I have retained to myself the role of the narrator.

As to "who" the real Daniel Jesudasan, Annie Ezekiel and Juan Salgados ( and a few other characters who keep moving in and out of the story) are ? is something that people who know me may figure out slowly but those who don't I hope will enjoy the creations without prejudice.

Sincerely hope you'll like what you read.

Do also feel free to scribble some comments and share your valuable feedback in case you feel like it. And, also in case you want to critic the output for instance, do not hesitate to be brutally honest and ruthless if need be - i like the feeling, you know of being shredded apart and butchered ? honestly . I like it. :). :) hahaha...

Thank you
Regards
Sriram

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Sunday, May 28, 2017

thesocratespot: In memoriam : Eulogy dedicated to Chinnu : AAUW : Chapter: C : She

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