thesocratespot: AAUW : The Grey Side of Retrospection : Chapter: C...

thesocratespot: AAUW : The Grey Side of Retrospection : Chapter: C...: AAUW : The Grey Side of Retrospection : Chapter: CXXI : Evolution of Angst : It was a grey rainy day, Annie's father was sick but was at his home work desk doing his usual routine of scanning through every single page of a dozen odd newspapers of all hues and languages - included the very bigotic, rightist, to Capitalist or Marxian Economics, partisan, political, non political and such including some Global news editions of NYT & The Telegraph ( London edition ) or the Le Monde etc., Annie often used to wonder how  in the hell did the man manage to read so many news dailies in such detail and yet find time to prepare for his lectures and seminars as well as read or write on many other subjects and it is that image of a patriarch perched on a pedestal - far beyond her reach - that kind of revolted her, She wanted to be better than him, bigger than him.

Annie was giving a lecture on Nationalism, extracting excerpts from various thinkers each contradicting the other on the idea - from Diogenes to Taoists to Godwin and Rabindranath Tagore - the energy and passion with which She expounded on the subject seemed to transport her and the audience onto a zone all her own almost as if she lived the idea of anarchy and she beleived that everyone listening to her lecture shared her passion on the subject.

Annie pretty much had the audience entranced, even the most convinced Nationalist in the audience would have found a resonance in her argument on Anarchy being a better state of social existence than Nationalism.

Soon after her lecture a few eager students and media personnel chased her as she was rushing out and begged her to spare some time for their questions and Annie very reluctantly agreed - Annie was always apprehensive to talk to anonymous people, people whose views of society, religion, politics, authority or law were not clear - but somehow the people chasing her managed to corner her and she agreed to a Q & A

Journalist 1 : Hi Annie, thnaks for that wonderful talk on Anarchy, will you consider that just as a lecture or is that and idea you believe in ?
Student 1 : Ma'm that was a great lecture, but please tell me are you an Anarchist ?
Journalsit 2 : What do you think will be the fall out of a soceity devoid of a Nation ? Of an identity ? How can alien humans belonging to different geographic, social, racial, religious thinking accept and agree to welcome another human of contrasting ideas into his / her home ? If you have a home will you allow me who does not agree with your thought to live in your house ?

The questions were rapid, Annie was hearing them out with calm & patience - She was a rebel and an intellectual / social vagabond ( with four broken marriages across four continents ) and so for her it was not a problem handling chaos.

She first allowed all the Media people and the Students to throw all that they wanted to ask her and then decided that it was best that She addressed all the questions thrown at her through one common answer and so she replied -

So what according to you is a Nation ? And what do you think is the purpose it serves ? according to me a Nation is a cannibal and it can devour it's own patriots creating a frenzy around its own importance, the idea of a Nation can be usurped, hijacked and or condemned depending on its state of being, so according to me true Nationalism is a myth, most of what we believe as Nationalism are ideas that we are made to believe, none of it is really our own idea.

So saying she left .                                       

AAUW : The Grey Side of Retrospection : Chapter: CXXI : Evolution of Angst

AAUW : The Grey Side of Retrospection : Chapter: CXXI : Evolution of Angst

It was a grey rainy day, Annie's father was sick but was dozing on his old easy chair, to his left side one could see his tobacco pipe carefully placed to simmer on its own,  the pipe continued to blow slow, crystal white rolls of smoke and the smell of fresh tobacco spread a subtle falvour in the living room. It was a bright room, shaded with thick pale white Curtains - Jesudasan loved Pale White - with under curtains of very light chocolate brown, the room looked a musuem than a living space, filled with art, show pieces but very subtly placed , Jesudasan hated cluttered space, even his book shelf was carefully hidden behind wooden walls, that could be rotated, such that they were never super imposing their presence in the room - Jesudasan was a man of subtle emotions, never really interested towards anything that needed glamour and show off, even if he had all the credentials to live lavish and loud - as one of the most reverrred Professors of Sotuh Asian & Australasian Literature, he was often paid ransoms just to be present in some literary festivals, all the same at home he preferred space and space and space - so his living room was so large it could easily have been a house in itself.

But despite his high level of commitment to maintain peace, Jesudasan today was not as calm as the scene in his living room portrayed. It was a Sunday, he had just returned from Church, the Pastor had taken extra efforts to meet him and brief him about a new development concerning Annie, his daughter.

Annie was a casual member of the Church Choir, often receded to the back - to the last of the chorus row - purely because she was vivacious, naughty and energetic and was capable of getting easily distracted and since the Church preferred more sober singers to lead the group, Annie was carefully hidden from being in the lead group. But, one day it just happened that there was this singer from France who had come visting the church, he was a physically challenged, wheel chair bound musician, a victim of Cerebral Palcy but a man who had enough talent to charm the world with his voice, musical sense and humour, he was good looking too - waist up - his name was Harry Benedine.

Harry Benedine was born healthy but was declared a Cerebral Palcy Child at the age of two - when he started missing his milestones of walking , talking or moving his arms, fingers, legs etc - in fact even his neck wouldn't settle in one place, it always hung on one side with his tongue hanging out.

But Thanks to the determination of his Parents - who were poor hawkers selling Groceries in a middle class suburb in Paris - and with the help of some very dedicated Medical Scholars, Harry Benedine started gaining normalcy , he started moving with support, his neck settled, his tongue stopped hanging out and he started singing songs of Jesus with so much passion, he soon became a sought after child to lead Church Choirs initially within Paris, later around Africa and Asia.

 Harry soon became a Church musician with a charm and charisma of his own - he was bound to his wheel chair , was still having trouble to walk, talk ( without a slur ) or dance - but when he took to the choir he was a changed man.

Young Annie, had a legion of youths and teens chasing her for her attention, She could easily point a finger at a boy and he would hardly have words to say no to her , such was her energy and charm.

Annie, fell in love with Harry on the day they sang together.

Mr & Mrs Jesudasan were delighted.